Hi Julie, Frustrating isn't it? He does live with you, it's not like they need to call separate households or anything! I know of no camp or school that would call both parents. You see, most normal M people wouldn't give a rat's butt which parent is called first, they would work TOGETHER and help each other and keep each other informed, etc. At my D14's school (no longer can go there now as it only goes to 8th grade) it got to the point that they would always call me as my W stopped going to meetings, showing up for events, I even had to call when she was sick and wouldn't be coming in. The people in the office all knew (and liked) me and no one ever thought I would keep important info from my W, I'm not that kind of person.
This is just another case of the MLCer thinking that the world revolves around them, that they are to be the center of the universe. How dare someone even acknowledge that you are a parent to your son and not him? I'm finding now that this kind of thinking just gets worse. My W hasn't stopped acting like a spoiled 10 year old, even in the D process. She pretends that she does things because she wants what's best for our D when what is really the case is that she is doing it for HER. Don't expect any of this to change anytime soon.
We actually had "take 2" today. S got bit by another kid at camp. She calls to tell me about it and to say they can't even put antiseptic with out doctor note. I told her I could not get away from work please call h.
A few minutes later he happily calls me to say he is on way to "assess situation"
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
So OW called today. It has been several months since those few crazy conversations. She said her daughter keeps asking to see s and asked if we could get together for a play date.
I said yes because I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and believe she is thinking of the kids but now I have all these scenarios running through my head of what schemes her and h have goung.
I will go.let s play for a bit. Not mention or discuss h at all, steer the conversation away if she brings anything up.
I am probably wrong and giving her too much credit rhat she is just thinking of the kids
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
wow, you get together with the OW for playdates with your kids? You are a strong woman, I don't think I could put aside my feelings and act like a lady with the OW. I'm afraid that would bring out my inner b*tch. I find that very impressive that you are putting aside your feelings so that the kids can play together.
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
Thanks TL. This is the first time. I mentioned it to my therapist today. I thought she would be against it but she actually thought it was a good idea. Certainly not something to make a habit of but good for me to meet her since I gave no control over h taking my s around her.
I also went and looked at an apartment today. It planned. I drove by and went in on impulse. Very nice and very affordable. Now I need to spend a year or 2 fixing my horrible credit. Hopefully I can stay where I am for that long.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
Hang in there Julie! Things are on the up and up:-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Met the OW for the play date today. All morning I kept waiting for the nerves to kick in but they never did. Maybe because I knew I had integrity and the high road on my side. Maybe my heart knows what my head is catching up to- she just doesn't matter.
It was rainy so we went for icecream. I won't go into details but everything about her outer appearance is exactly opposite of what h has always liked.
I can't say much about her personality as she barely spoke. Never made eye contact with ne. I talked to her daughter and worked to keep the conversation going between the kids.
It was clear that they knew s but not very well.
And when we were leaving she said " well that wasn't so bad." I have no idea as the whole thing was her idea. Not sure what she wanted to get out of it.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
And I'm so impressed Ms Julie! This IS taking the high road to a different dimension. Of course you have integrity and conducted yourself with grace and class.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
I find that very impressive that you are putting aside your feelings so that the kids can play together.