Live your life, let him live his. Right now you can't be friends with him but you can be friendly, right?

I don't see his wanting to be friends with the wife of his children as cake-eating. I think it's a reasonable thing, just not right now for you. We use our definition of the word/act of being a friend. His may be very different. Again friend or friendly.

I doubt you've kissed your M goodbye, maybe you're just uncomfortable with things being undecided, unsettled, in process, uncertain. No straight line with a defined beginning, middle and ending.

Stay curious, my friend.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss