I have totally different situation, so no advice...
BUT - I wouldn't go too crazy worrying about detaching too much. My .02 would be detach but be sure that you're being pleasant. Be the kind of man she would want to be with. Look nice, smell nice, be nice, but don't pursue.
Definitely tough when she's pushing for different sleeping arrangements, but I think holding your ground is smart (and shows that you're NOT being a doormat).
Careful with the counselor pushing for divorce...I might even ask the counselor why they keep pushing that agenda. Just a thought.
