Elsa, he has said he is sure he is done many times, and also in the letter he explicitly said it was over I think as a way to justify feelings for OW. He also said he is confused, though about what I don't know. I do think he truly feels it is done and I guess I agree anyway. As they say, the old R is over but there is a chance to build a new one. The old one was broken. Elsa, my H is also a "nice guy". Or was. That does add an element of confusion, doesn't it?
Watto I agree that if he really was over me, why would he 1. take the time to listen to me rant for hours 2. care to send me a letter explaining himself and 3. care what I thought of the letter. After all, I didn't ask what he thought of my letter!
My gut says he doesn't feel that "in love" feeling (his main complaint) and therefore is "done" but that the feeling can come back under the right conditions. My guess is that those conditions are me moving on and being unavailable to him. The classic scenario of wanting what you can't have and the feeling of having plenty of space. I can't rush my moving on but I can make the conditions seem as close to that as possible, I suppose.
I should add that in the same conversation he also asked how my date went the other night...? When he asked me to help him move last week I had replied that I had a date at that time so I couldn't help him (was true). I was very angry at the moment and wanted to be a jerk. He had replied that he also had a date at the same time. Weird. When he asked how it went I deflected and said "haha do you really want to know?" He said to just tell him if it was good or bad, and I laughed it off and said nothing. What a weird thing. Did he want to tell me all about his date? Did he want to test me? Was it bothering him that I was on a date? Who knows. Weirdness.
This whole thing is confusing. I guess at least the one thing I know I should do is NC and that is basically doing nothing so at least it is easy!
Hugs to all, Lisa
Me: 34 H: 30 M: 4 years BD: 6/15/14 He moved out 6/30/14 OW1: EA then PA after BD Now he's dating multiple OWs I'm over it and moving on.
