FINALLY SURFACING

[Fartiltre]

Nice days with the Ds. S10 joined us yesterday and that was great!

I have had a good talk with one of my partners yesterday and I will talk to the other one tomorrow. Right now it seems like these two great guys will accept that I have special needs due to the time available in my life…if so I will be a happy man. I will also do my best not to let them down again – I need to get more focused on my work!
I have no expectations about this but some part of me hopes it will turn out this way. That will buy me some time to make the decisions needed.

During the talk yesterday I told my partner (and close friend) that I am not the work-focused guy I used to be and that I will never be the old working me again. He smiled and told me that he knows.



Short text convo with W this morning. We had agreed that I would set the Ds off at her place around 16.00 today but I have to go for a drive earlier and could save 40 km so I texted:

Me: “Goodmorning :-)
I have an errand in [city] today at 14. Could it fit you if I set off the girls around 13.30”
W: “hmmmm I counted on 16 but just come by with them. I am working”
Me: “Can easily wait….get some work done then I will be there at 16”
W: “Perfect”

It is “funny” how this past 1½y have changed the way I look at convo’s and the way I communicate. W’s first answer contains IMO some annoyment (mindreading) but instead of just saying no she goes the other way around this and hopes for me to withdraw my request by placing some blame or bad conscience.
THAT is so much me 1½y ago and today I see it all around.
Some part of me wants to tell her to just say no and tell her about what I have learned. I won’t but I might start doing exactly that with friends.


Tonight I will take S11 to the movies and Saturday I have 20-25 guys over for a summerparty. Jokes, Beers, clay target shooting (before the beers) and just guys fooling around. Monday is first school day after the holiday and then work and a normal daily life waits.