Dealing with ongoing affair -which may now be over

[PeterV2]

Hi Sandi. Thanks for finding me again. Here's the thing. When we bought the Retirement Home (RH) she wanted to wait and not close the deal for about 1-4 months after what was being proposed. I was afraid the deal would fall through and she had told me it was her dream job at the time. She signed the papers.

Well now she's blaming me for the mess we're in because the taking over of the RH was way more work than we expected. It caused her burn-out and checking out of our M. Now we're half vacant and unless my business puts money into hers, the RH, then it'll go under. So she works the night shifts now - has been since about March. 9pm - 7am. Well, she's up until midnight then sleeps til 3am, does her rounds and goes back to bed. Has difficulty getting back to sleep often, so her sleep is broken and not consistent.

Recently after I shingled the roof a shingle had fallen over an outside drain and a heavy rainstorm caused her office and bedroom to flood. She was very upset. It was a mess and it took about a week to clean up.

Then she went away on her vacation and when she got back I left for my hike for 4 days. On the 2nd day another heavy rain caused an even worse flood in her office and bedroom which put her over the top. She was very stressed and wanting to walk away from her life.

That was July 26. Tonight I took my saw and cut a square out of the subfloor to reveal that underneath was still covered with water - the only solution is for her to move out of her office and bedroom and I have to rip out all the subfloor and replace it - a major job. She just about lost it. Crying and blaming me for everything & asked me to leave. I didn't leave. I talked her down and tried my best to use not only reason but compassion and empathy, and admitting my mistakes, but not taking the blame for things beyond my control. I suggested she move her bedroom to another vacant room at the other end of the home and I said I'd start helping her move her things tonight.

So we move her closet stuff into the new room with a huge walk-in closet (nice). We need to get the carpet steam cleaned in the morning before moving the furniture - staff will do that. She should be in her new room by tomorrow night. I'll set her up nicely. We'll move to office to another empty room.

Then she's planning on going away Sunday by herself for about 3 days just to get away from it all. Going to a cottage somewhere. Hopefully that'll give me the time to fix the floor and get her old office & bedroom back on track.

I sort of want to wait until the flood repairs are behind us before I broach the subject of reconciliation. Her mental state is too fragile right now. Like you say, timing is everything, and now is not the time to talk about R.