Hi Kim, Right now I'm going through all this as my D is coming to the end. My W knows that our D14 is angry at her. She also knows that she is much more likely to want to stay with me over her. She has wanted me to split custody 50/50 and "force" our D to stay with her even if she doesn't want to. At first I let this happen, "make" her spend 50% of her time with her mom. Now I got the paperwork from W's lawyer and she is trying to control EVERY thing my D does. Where she goes to school, where she spends holidays, vacations, etc. She doesn't want D14 to have ANY say! She has also reneged on many other things but this is the part I don't like. I had told her from the start that I wanted it in the decree that D14 gets to make up her own mind if she doesn't want or does want to do something with either one of us. What i got is the opposite of this!
They don't want to have to do the work to have a R with the kids. The kids, like everyone else should just except that they are doing the "right" thing for them! There is no way I will sign this. If I have to I will ask for primary custody and if D14 agrees that she wants this as well I will get it. But the difference is I won't "force" her to go anywhere, with me or her mom. This I will fight for because at 14 our kids can decide who and what they want to do. It sounds to me that your D is thinking for herself. She isn't trying to punish your H, she is merely not spending her time with someone that she doesn't want to. It doesn't matter if it's her father or not. He has done awful things and mistreated her. Until he at least realizes what he has done, I see no reason why she should be forced to stay with her father.
