Honestly, I feel like XH was minimizing D14's feelings and spinning it around to make it all about him! He was the victum, because she was judging him and never bothered to hear his side of the story!
It also sounded very defensive on his part as well!
Yet when and where was it her responsibility as a CHILD to ask for HIS SIDE OF THE STORY?
You know there's nothing I can do to fix this. It isn't my responsibility to make his wrongs a right!
D14 said that a long time ago she wanted to hear his side of the story but she was too afraid to bring it up. Now she says she doesn't even care anymore.
She's handling this situation so calmly. I explained to D14 that we have to accept him for who he is, even if we don't like who he is now.I told her it's ok to not like who he is now and how he's behaving. And that regardless of his behavior, I do know he does love her. She said to me " mom it's like he's completely forgot about everything that happened! It's like it never happened!".
So I see this as him just seeing his daughter as an extension of him, but not a person of her own and in her own right. He makes himself hostage to not seeing his own daughter because Im the one influencing her.
Yet D11 still see's him on a regular basis on her own.
If I was such a controlling bitch wouldn't I make sure D11 didn't see him too?
