Nova - if I can make a suggestion, it might be worth considering whether your IC's efforts to help you move on cold actually help to restore your relationship. Keep in mind that many of the ideas raised here that will help your relationship are based on the same kind of ideas as moving on - getting a life and detaching, especially. Perhaps if you allow your IC to work with you on some of these things it will actually wind up helping you in the long run.

I know this feels absolutely brutal right now, and you have a lot going on to deal with right now. I genuinely think one of the est things you can do for yourself is to take care of yourself as best you can, and one way to do that may be to work with your IC. You can always mention where you are and how you want to proceed, too, and focus on the things that will be most beneficial to you and to dealing with the relationship.

M - 34
H - 36
Together 10 years
Married 4 years
BD - March, 2014