Hello again, Seems I got locked out of last thread just when Heather asked me about talking to the lawyer. To answer Heather's question...I called yesterday as I was rushing home after my D called telling me she and mom were at my home. I could only get his paralegal and she wasn't sure about the answer. That was a bit disappointing as it seems pretty cut and dry to me! There is a D in process, the court is aware of this, I have allowed her access several times to get as much stuff as she wanted and she choose to take things that were in dispute, not "personal" stuff (she still has the closet full of her clothes that no longer fit her now that she is so thin). She was supposed to get with the L and get back to me today but I haven't heard back all day.
My D14 signed up for classes at the school near my W. Another win for her and loss for my D. She talked her out of going to a better school by telling her she would have to get up really early to go there but that isn't true. My w told me she didn't want her to go because we had an offer of help from an old friend and my W says she didn't want to owe anyone else any favors (??) which makes no sense to me!
I stayed home from work today as I didn't get any sleep last night. I just can't believe the stuff that is in the paperwork from W's lawyer! She was the one who said by splitting custody we wouldn't be locked into anything but here is all this detail about where she will go and when and with whom. It gives my D no say in where SHE may want to go or what she wants to do! I know that if she wanted to do something with her mom on a day that I have her by court order, I would readily allow her. I really don't trust her mom to do the same. Her mom tells me that she is now glad she was "forced" to do things with her father when she was a kid and thinks that I should force my D to do things she doesn't want to! Up until now she used to talk about how she HATED that she was forced to spend time with her father, how she felt so uncomfortable around him. Total 180 from the last 25 years!
My W texted me today about my D14's dog having worms. (Yuck!). She wanted to say I should wash all her bed sheets (I had already done this the day she left) and must have had 4-5 back and fourths where she was actually seemed not nasty, then of course she ended with terse, one word answers. Today was hard. I kept having thoughts about how could my W hurt so many people that love her and hope to find ANY joy from anything that came from that? How could she enjoy her new life knowing how much hurt she has caused so many? If she is able too, what kind of person does that make her? One like her father I suppose.
I feel that I am so caught in a hard place. I want what's best for my D14 and not having her mother in her life sounds wrong but at the same time I honestly don't think she is capable (my W that is) of being the kind of parent a 14 year old girl needs, at least not now. I don't want to put my D in a place where she must choose between her mother and me but from what the decree says, I just can't allow that to stand! All this and I have to start making more money again as all this has really cut into that!
So much stress. I've been so stressed for long much of it because of my W. It isn't healthy and when the D is final, I lose my insurance! I need to find some way to de stress and find some kind of peace before I go insane and have my own "crisis!
