Stimulus-Response: The Experiment Continues

[GoatGal]

PS: I wasn't ever a wife who waited on him, did his laundry, followed him around asking for attention/affection, did nice things for him all the time, trying to keep him happy.
Really, I'm thinking I wasn't that "wifely". But honestly, he seemed to like it that way. Or at least, he never complained.

I thought that being me and being loving in my way, being loyal and true and honest... well, I thought that was enough. I guess it wasn't.

He was the one who would do my laundry... do the dishes when my back flared up. He was the one who would bring me little gifts...

I never did value those things, and I rarely did that sort of stuff for HIM.
(I wanted quality time, which I rarely got. And physical touch, which I rarely got.)

It is a 180 for me to do thoughtful little things for him, to seek out his company more in ways that are comfortable FOR HIM, to ask for his advice and help more.

On the other hand, it is a 180 for me to do EVERYTHING myself, to do "his stuff", the farm animals, household maintenance... those are things he used to take pride in, where his skill set shines.

He is someone who wants to take care of others. I won't allow him to care for me now.
But I don't think it's a GOOD 180.
I'm not allowing him to do the things that he feels he does well, the way he shows his love. I'm putting a big blockade up there.

If he can't show his love that way, how will he?


I'm busy showing him how strong I am and how I don't need him anymore, how I don't lean on him anymore.

You see where I'm going with this?


---GGG