Finding my way - part 4

[gan]

ganb8te, I'm unclear on whether this is a trial separation or a pre-divorce separation too, but my gut feeling is that right now he feels like it's the latter. I'm not sure if I want to know or not. I'm also not sure if I should be talking to him about what kind of separation this is and if and when we should be checking in with each other.

Can I ask how you approached this topic with your H.? I'm concerned H. would see this as pursuing or trying to change his mind or keep him trapped right now.

You asked me this on your old thread…bringing it across.
If you read my story you'll see that it was the MC who seemed to push this from trial separation into pre-divorce territory in my sitch. Actually there was a point at which she said to "It sounds like this is a separation" to which he responded in an annoyed tone "Yes it is a separation!" I was thinking - use some more specific terms already, I know we are separating! We argued after the counseling session but that is when I asked him to put a timeframe on it and we agreed to 3 months.

Actually, I don't think it's useful to categorize as trial vs pre-divorce as at this point (things change when you are on your own - it will for him too) but if you can try to get a timeline for your own mindsake I think it would be helpful.

Read Taking Space by Buchicchio.