25yearmic we have moved from no I don't want to talk to anyone to it depends on what you want to get out of counseling. I told her that I have not changed what I told her from day one that line^^ struck me as NOT very desirable. It's you sort of stressing "I have NOT changed"... and I wonder if that is something you ought to be saying at the moment...Do you see why I say that?
that I want our family whole and to be stronger and we needed help. She still seemed hesitant almost afraid and I saw concern in her eyes so I backed off.
Well She feels pressured, clearly. Back off.
I will ask again in a month while I keep showing her the changes that I am making.
Goal #1 is changing you, and #2 is doing those changes in an open overt way....
& FAR DOWN the list is your desire for counseling - b/c it's clearly something she sees as you manipulating her, again, or trying to control the outcome of this....again
and b/c it is a rare person who gets much out of C, when they do NOT want to go. Usually it cements their reasons for wanting to leave, more than anything else.
Do not pressure a reluctant spouse to go to MC. Bad idea.
I hope you can get help BUT without it coming off as pressure to change HER. Which is the impression I'm getting.
Make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
