Phoenix slowly rising

[TL72*]

cc I found myself agreeing with your words and nodding my head - in regards to the "I don't look into what he's doing with any friends, or with OW, or at his fb page..." exactly, it only hurts to find things out and I stopped looking months ago and it helps tremendously with healing imo. One time a few weeks ago I did glance at something on fb, we're not "friends" but I could see his posts on a community page, that only made me think of him for a few hours and I don't want to waste my energy on that. Since the tantrum though I blocked him so I can no longer see anything and he can't see mine either and that just feels right to me. Your comments about him being on vacation are right on too - it's easier to think something like that- I told myself he was just at work on the road, he used to leave all week for work so in the beginning it was easier to think he was just off on job site. Eventually I was able to adapt and just accept he was gone but it was helpful at the time. Now I do that with my mom's passing, it feels like she's just on vacation and out of the country or something. I go to her house (my brother lives there) and she's just not home. I am probably in denial still but it keeps me from feeling too bad about it. I still think of the ex every time I see a truck like his, hoping that fades away too. It is interesting to read others posts and see how we all go through such similar feelings and pathways. I see people that just had a recent bomb drop and think "oh I feel for you" because I've been there, I don't wish that on anyone. Then a little later you're going through a different phase of this and I can remember being there too. I'm not at the year mark yet but it feels like over a year. It was the longest winter of my life and summer definitely felt like an awakening for me. I know i'm lucky my divorce is over and I hope that the worst is behind me and moving forward is up to me - happiness, my own happiness, is up to me and completely in my control. sorry to take over your thread with my ramblings. CCzamo I definitely see you have detached and are doing so well! Tboned, hope you were out having fun and enjoying yourself. I don't spend much time here anymore but I do like to check up on you ladies.