Living the dream...one day at a time

[wishing, hoping]

So seven days without the kids. I guess it's time to let go and start really living my life for me and just stop pretending.

I was talking to my boss today and she said sometimes you are just afraid to cross that line and say "it's okay to live for you". And she is right. I don't feel like it's the right thing to do. I lived my life for me and now I think my kids should come first. She told me it was okay to do this. She told me part of me still feels like I am married with children and she is right. I know I have heard it from these boards and I thought I was starting to live for myself and I can see now I have only taken baby steps.

Still dealing with frustration with J who wanted to know this morning how we are handling the volunteer fees for the kids' soccer. In the past the club has charged if volunteer hours were not met, but this year each family needs to write a check for $200 and the club will hold it and if hours are not met they will cash it and if hours ARE met, they will give the check back. J expected me to give him half the money in cash since I don't carry a checkbook. I told him they aren't cashing the checks until the end of the year and ONLY IF you don't meet your hour requirements. I told him if he puts in 5 hours and I put in 5 hours, then we should be good. If we don't meet those hours and they cash the check, then I will give you half the money at that time. This serves two purposes: it gives J incentive to actually work the required number of hours and it prevents me from giving him cash for something he hasn't officially paid for yet. If I give him cash and we meet the hours then I have to depend on him to give me that money back. I would have better luck waiting for pennies to rain down from heaven.

WH