I'm glad you think he's doing the work. His last sentence, acknowledging he'd been insensitive, was huge. I feel like he hasn't been aware of my place in his crisis since the beginning.
It is also true that I am not as detached as I'd need to be to engage him warmly without expectation. If he's not ready to rebuild then I need to maintain my distance till one of us is in a different place. I hope that was what I conveyed, rather than pressure.
He contacted the kids this morning, bypassing me. True, we only knew it because I heard the notification tone (their devices are being rationed) but still, he took responsibility for those relationships and I'm relieved.
I'm ok with taking time that's needed. We've got things under control, minus the odd panic.
My SIL is out with some of the kids so I'm going to work on a project of my own while my boys play and recharge from cousin time. It will feel good to do something not family oriented and relaxing again.
I really appreciate this space and the people who take time to participate. It is way too easy to get stuck in your own thought process and the input from others and the freedom to be open here has made ALL the difference. That is true no matter what happens to my marriage.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
