But her words reminded me how many times I've gone against my own instinct or interest to agree with him. I held him above me for a really long time and it certainly didn't make me happy and apparently didn't make him happy. To say I would be just friends with him when I really yearn for the closeness we once shared would be more of what didn't work before.
Maybell, in my clearer moments this is my thought exactly. For years I went against myself to make him happy and it didn't work. If I can hold on to that, and learn to listen to myself, I know I'll be better off. It's just a really difficult thing to do after 26 years with him.
