Wife STILL in MLC but has now left #1

[pbetra]

Matt - you have really been through the wringer, haven't you? ... - you don't know if you can ever forgive...I'm not sure I can either. People who seem to do so easily just amaze me.

LiveNow - I think I can forgive (in FUTURE ) & with enough time and space!! But I also have to work on that...

One thing I keep wondering, though...what do you think might happen one day when her father is gone? I really have to wonder, if that whole element were removed from this sitch, where might you/she be?

I wondered about that as well. Re: me, as employment issues wax & wane, I have noted very SUBTLE changes underneath the MLCer rebellion. I realize that employment/finances are the MAJOR trigger here.

In Matt's case the major trigger is FIL:

1 - if FIL passes, maybe the fact that she DID do what he wanted, spent that time with him (@ Matt's expense), her issues might fizzle out in time, since FIL trigger is no longer there. As adult she 'found' him, he was no longer 'lost' to her. At 10, she wondered about him "where was her dad? why did he leave?" With TIME & with the trigger gone ... she may feel freer on some level having tried to pls. him as adult. Who knows?
OR
2 - W might simply be lost forever due to unresolved issues, as her father is clearly VERY, VERY selfish. He is not the type of person who learned fm. his illness & decided to sincerely make amends in a loving way with his D. To ask her forgiveness and make up for lost time in a healthy way. He had his family but destroyed hers w / Matt & Ds. It didn't matter.
How is a child to escape from that? She is very damaged person - & he has the key.

re Keep going Matt, you'll make it. We all will.
Ditto! All the more reason for Matt to insulate himself & D!!! p.