Matt, Please speak to your lawyer about the situation w/your wife coming in and taking things from the residence. My experience was very similar, but I also learned that in my state, the only way that I could change the locks was to ensure that my xh had received a copy of the draft legal separation and all of his personal belongings had been removed from the home. Once this was done, I was free and clear to change the locks, etc.
I was also told that if my xh had removed furniture, etc. from the home prior to the separation document being given to him, there was nothing I could do to get the items returned to me as we were still married w/no documentation stating that we were separated or divorced.
This is something you need to check w/your lawyer and if your lawyer says it's okay to change the locks, then do so asap. If you don't, you'll be left w/very little in the way of household goods.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
