It's tough, Bob. I get it. From the outside the solution seems so simple but from the inside it feels impossible to attain.
There seems to be so much animosity between you and your W that it's literally keeping you guys apart. I imagine you guys with your hands up about to engage in a fist fight. While neither of you want to be there you find yourselves there and wonder why the other is there too. So you second guess each other's motives and without knowing what the facts are of why you're both there you both put up a wall and become defensive towards one another. You're both ready to take the punch just as soon as the other hits first. You're calling each other's bluffs for no other good reason than fear. You're both hurt and scared and fear is the sole motivator.
I really don't know what to say to help you because you seem to be in a defeated mental state. So everything you say about your W and your stitch is closed ended. It's as if you're still arguing your side and you want us to side with you. I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that we don't want to take sides. We support you, yes but we're not siding against you or your W. We're pro M.
So for a moment...step out of the defeated mental state and dig deep. How can you reframe your mind so that the things you say or think and feel about your M is something that can be remedied. Get out of the "I've tried but nothing works" mentality and switch into "I have tried but there's gotta be something else I can try."
On the S matters. What you choose to do with either S or D papers is entirely up to you. However, you can't go through with a decision and then wonder if you did the right thing. It should be the other way around. Seek solid advice first before proceeding with something this serious. Why do you feel it is the right thing (legally) for you to do? Does she agree with this? If she doesn't can you understand how she may perceive it as you pushing your agenda on her? I hope you didn't do it just to get a reaction out of her because that's just petty. Secondly, if your really concerned about her feelings then perhaps this decision should have been a mutual one. Why did you go ahead with it? Was it just hopelessness on your part? During your time away (recently) what has she done? How has she behaved towards you? Listen to what she says and does without first adding your own meaning to it. Bring it here for help. Or, definitely bring it to a DB coach.
