I really don't mean to quibble b/c I like a lot of what Bob is saying. But for me, the thought absolutely DOES count. That's why it matters to us to be listened to. That's how we feel it, i.e. that you cared, is what matters the most.
And that MIGHT be shown by the gift - but it is certainly shown by the thought that goes into it.
If you ordered something I had said a long time ago that I LOVED, even if my taste has changed, (assuming I did not tell you it had changed),
If I know you got the gift with my comment of long ago in mind, that you remembered it and took it to heart, then I'll value that b/c YOU valued what I said.
Make sense?
OTOH, I once saw Chanel #5 and commented to my h that "Chanel makes a lot of great perfumes. I don't happen to like #5, but I love "Chance" by Chanel"....
I got Chanel #5 for Christmas! Yes, it bugged me (not a lot) but sure, it irked me b/c it's as if h tuned out after I made PART of a comment. If he'd listened to the whole sentence He would have recalled that #5 is the perfume by Chanel, which I do NOT like...
It's not as if I spoke a long time about perfume. But I had to recall also, that perfume talk bores h a lot. I'm a little amused that he remembered any of what I said, but yes, I wish he recalled the "whole talk" (all 10 seconds of it). Food for thought.
I made a comment once about some earrings I saw and how the "cut" made them look so reflective they were beautiful.
Got them for our anniversary and YES I loved that.
More food for thought.
Good luck Joe. Be upbeat without expectations, and do NOT make this gift about your self worth, okay?
It's A gift...hopefully one of many she'll receive from you over a life time.
She could do well to be a bit grateful too, for the effort.
Keep on keeping on...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
