LiveNow, I don’t know why I’m keeping hanging in there. Sometimes I’m so disappointed at myself that I cannot just let go like others in my situation. I think I just need more time. I also feel like I’ve been just existing and not living. Even though it doesn’t look like it from outside. Only a couple of my GFs and my sister in the outside world know the truth. And even then, they don’t know as much as I post here.
I do feel like I’m just wasting my time, getting older. And I’m looking around and telling myself that there will be a chance for me to find somebody to connect with. I just don’t see anything that would interest me. I think I’m not ready for a new R yet.
He actually didn’t spew anything bad, in general. It is just the things he said were so hurtful. Like he said that he is starting a new phase of his life. There was “phase before me, then there was a phase with me, and now he will have a phase after me”. It’s like I’m just a piece of furniture that needs replacing.
My gut tells me that he is not in a happy place, maybe regretting the whole thing. But, I also know that he is a very stubborn man and prides himself for making the decisions and sticking to them.
I did have a lot better day today, thanks. I think going back to the office was really good for me.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
