25YMLC First off Thank you so much for all your advice and input .. I will try to respond just so I am clear .. so hard via the written word sometimes. And your GAL suggestions really do help me on understanding all this.
Ok, I think the GAL thing was a little misunderstood .. I was not doing laundry and thinking that's GAL .... my latest GAL activity was taking a motorcycle course last weekend, was an all weekend event, I passed and walked away feeling really good. I have always wanted a Harley and am thinking about buying one in a few months as a B day present to me (180 I never spoil myself) however fearful though that will upset the WAW ... but at this point ... its for ME not her however I am uncertain at this point if that will create some issues between she and I ... with the financial issue she is having post the mediation blow up .... she will see it as money I should be giving her) My other GAL since the separation are Softball on Wednesdays and I had quit playing football on Sundays in order to work on us .. I started back up after that failed as I realized I was doing things for her and not for me. I hope to take this Church class for 2 hours on Tuesdays but having my son may interfere with that....I also run 3 miles about 3 times a week, this is when she picks him up (Mon/Wed/Fri), we make the exchange and am all set to go, say goodbye and start running... (like you said .. maybe a 180 but for me and my sanity it feels just as good as a GAL .. .and I lost 20 lbs)
Ok .. noted on the friendzone ... hard pill to swallow there, but I understand the logic behind it.
Talking to my IC ... she had suggested more social type things for me, I admittedly lost my identity after being with her for 24 years, I have been forcing myself to accept invitations to parties, I typically bail on that but as of late I have been going, have another coming up soon. For me its a time thing, I do have my son often and when I have him we do things together, come to think of it we were looking at Kayaks yesterday, its something he and I did last year and he loved it, maybe I just pull the trigger and buy it and can do things with him and the GAL .. something different type approach as well. I will think about this one this week.
I think right now the hardest thing is detaching, GAL , and not jumping at any self percieved bone she throws, and finding me again regardless if we R I know I must do this. Just heard a sermon saying in relationships during conflict you almost have to do the opposite of the impulse you feel ... pretty much spot on for me.
