Thanks, ganb8te! I think I remember reading your thread a few weeks ago, before I joined the forum. I'm rooting for you too!
I called my H yesterday to talk about plans for tonight. He asked what I wanted to do, and I said that I wanted to come over to his house so that we could ML. (I know this is pursuing behavior, but we agreed to be straightforward with each other about this topic, so as to avoid missed opportunities.) H said that sounded good, but admitted that he was nervous because he doesn't know what to do if I refuse to leave afterward. I thanked him for being honest with me and told him that he doesn't have to worry about that. He clarified that he doesn't think it's a realistic concern, just that it's where his anxiety is taking him at the moment. He said he still wants me to come over.
Unfortunately, we then had to have a brief discussion about finances, which is a conversation that we have been avoiding since BD. I work, but I am not self-supporting on my current salary. I worked out a spousal support/child support calculation with my lawyer, but I never shared it with H because neither of us wanted to do a legal S. For the past month, we have continued to use the joint accounts for ordinary expenses, and I kind of assumed that we could continue on with the status quo, but last night H revealed that he has redirected his paycheck, so that won't be happening. It also sounds like we have very different ideas of what a "fair" number will be concerning support, at least until I find another job.
Any suggestions for how to have this conversation while DBing?
