Thanks Georgiabelle. There's a lot to focus on with the kids right now, S18 going off to college, and the girls starting back at different schools at the same time. Lots of things to do before that.
But my brain runs constantly and I can't help but think about H. I'm at the point where I just still don't understand why it all happened, and why he can't just flip a switch in his brain and make it OK. We still live together, we still sleep together, we don't fight at all, have pleasant conversations about a lot of things, and no one knows. From my viewpoint it seems so easy just to make it OK. The danger of this, which I see in my rational moments, is that I don't really want it to be the way it was, because it wasn't very good for me at times. But the desire to roll back the clock and get my old life back is still there. I don't really know how to get past that. There has to be more to it than time, there are only so many days in a row that I can sit and cry and hide from my coworkers.
