Finding my way - part 3

[Meghan]

At this point, I'm not sure what I can handle or even if I trust my own judgment on how I'm feeling.

I have been considering just asking him to leave. That would be a 180, and it would give us both breathing space. Your point about it not being fair to have that hanging over your head all the time is exactly how I feel, and how I've been feeling for months now.

Trouble is, because I'm his sponsor (he moved to my country), I'm legally obligated to take care of him until April. He's under no obligation to leave. And I guess I'm not sure that he wouldn't just take me up on it at this point, particularly after last night's showing of me being emotional and suggesting that we could make things work even when he said we couldn't and that he wouldn't give me the answer that I wanted to hear. then, he'd be hundreds of miles away with no real reasons to be in touch with me.

If he stayed, I might have more time to work on this. I don't know what the cost would be to my mental health, though. Things are really tough right now. They could even out, but living with someone who says he doesn't love you and doesn't want to be married to you in such close quarters seems like not the greatest idea or the best way to stay sane enough to present yourself as the best possible you.