It has been a full year since the BD. I can see where this started probably 2 years back at least. But once the BD, H acts like he has told me how he is feeling and this is all he can offer me, take it or leave it!

He mentioned a while back that with me it's all or nothing,,,and I should have stood my ground then and said it is what I deserve!
So now I "stand" and accept whatever R crumbs he throws my way.

I need to calm down, relax, pray and pull back more from all of this for a while.

It will be very interesting to see how H responds to our upcoming anniversary. I have already made plans with my friends for the weekend before (it falls on a monday). I had taken off that day, but planning to cancel it, I dont want to be sitting at home doing nothing, so I will work that day.
UNLESS H brings up plans, I will leave a generic card on the table that morning and be done with it.

I did have a dream about H asking me to put his ring back on his finger,,,I dont often have dreams like that or that I can recall the next day...

Been stress eating, gaining weight. Need to focus on losing this weight and getting back to working out.

I think my time of "standing" is almost up

Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW