MY TRAGIC WAW STORY PART III

[ItHurts]

Hi Mr Bond! Thanks for your usual words of wisdom and it's funny because the WAW came over and spent the night again last night. She said things are clearer in her head than they've ever been. She apologized for all she's done, she even mentioned the counseling thing so I find it so funny that you happened to mention that too. She totally opened up to me and she is what you call transparent now. She said she really thought we could never have passion between us again but after spending that first night here she said "it all came flooding back to me and I realized that I am still very much in love with you."

We are now talking about looking into reversing our divorce, she said she was really shocked how quickly the court date came. She said she feels like we truly can have everything again except even better this time. She keeps talking about her "fog"...a term I told her about. She said that person is gone, she said the "real me" is back and as great as it feels, it makes me realize how many bad decisions I've made. I told her that she was just confused and at the time she thought she was doing the right thing.
As far as our talks of R, we have laid everything on the table. I guess my posts weren't specific enough but she most definitely did those three things you mention. She now refers to herself as a "WAW" which I think is pretty funny. She understands the syndrome and the confusion it caused her. She said when she thinks of the decisions she made a couple months ago that she asks herself over and over again "WTF was I thinking?!" She has great regret and keeps apologizing about things. She told me that she is in love with me and that she knows I am the man she is supposed to be with. So we really have covered all of the things you mention...surprisingly even the counseling suggestion which was brought up by her last night. She said she's wondering if we should go talk to someone to see how best to handle our reconciliation.

I point blank had to ask her this, so I did, I looked her in the eyes and asked her if she regretted divorcing me...she started to cry and immediately said yes. I regret it but at the time I thought it was the only thing I can do, she said. She said she's been having so many dreams about me. She said it was such a painful realization when I realized I was still in fact in love with you. She said I just didn't think back then that my feelings would change, that I would never love you like that again. She said now being with you I fell in love with you even more than I did when we first met 18 years ago.

So as it stands now we are probably going to look into reversing our divorce and seeing how things go. She want to come back because she said she feels like we've both learned so much and that we could have everything again. She said what's hurt her the most these past couple weeks since, as she described it, "I came out of my WAW fog" is how much I hurt you doing what I did. She said she was so stupid for the things she did.

She is definitely once again the same woman she was before the WAW came to be though. She is her old self again and it is so refreshing to be able to be with her, the real person that was my wife. So much easier to talk to her, she's not cold, heartless, and mean anymore. Instead she is so saddened and guilt-ridden with regret about all she's done. I mean I don't want her to torture herself either, she's apologized many, many times over the past 48 hours. So we have covered all the bases you mention, I guess my posts weren't specific enough but it's hard to relay hours and hours of conversation with her in one post and cover everything. Basically she said she didn't think our passion could come back, so she "kept going ahead in her fog" even though she knew she still loved me. She said once the fog lifted it all came flooding back to her and she suddenly realized she was still in love with me and really needed to be with me. So she stayed over again last night too and we talked even more.

I truly know she wants to come back, there's no doubt in my mind and she really leaves me no room for any. She's come out and said it. She wants to try and reverse the divorce. It's just we're taking it slow and figuring out the best plan of attack. I never thought I would ever see this day come, nevermind EVER think she would even acknowledge the "WAW fog" but she said that's exactly what it was, what it felt like, and "emotional fog" that caused her to make so many hasty decisions she now regrets.

So neither of us is sweeping anything under the rug. She is accepting most of the blame for everything that's happened even though I clearly I had a role in it all too. She's apologized many times, she totally understands what she did (as I said, she knows about the "fog,") and she has a lot of guilt for allowing things to get to this point between us. So as far as her being transparent, she's laid it all on the table for me. She is "pursuing" now. I should've been more specific in my posts I guess but it's hard to cover everything we've talked about for hours and hours in only one post but all of those items you pointed out are most definitely covered and addressed now between us. She knows and I know that things could be better than they've ever been between us now...we are both just trying to figure out what our next move should be is all. Thanks for your wisdom and insight Mr. Bond... I truly appreciate it.