H's MLC #3

[2BHappy]

The last couple of days have been kinda hard, I have been wanting to have a R or M disucssion but I have NOT, I dont know what has gotten me to feel all these emotions about my M again, but I'm doing good still DBing, my H seems to be settling down somewhat...things appear/feel easier between us. BUT I'm still hurt and upset that H seems totally OK with how things are between us, like this works for him. I'm just not sure how much longer this is going to work for me.

I miss doing things as a couple, miss him saying ILY, tired of not being able to call and be sweet to each other, or hug or kiss him if I feel like it, tired of the unknown, tired of not knowing if or when things will change for the better.
Tired of not going on dates.

Yesterday, we had stepson, his GF and D over for dinner and movie,,I was sitting by H watching the movie and was sleepy, I wanted to place my head on his shoulder, but I did not because I had no idea if that would be ok or how he would react or feel and that pissed me of, really I cannot find comfort with my H.
I know I know right now H cannot provide me with what I need from him as my man!!!

And I can hear H saying "now that I want to be in the relationship,,,,and he not so much,,,see how it feels" YES I treated my H bad at times, was a WAS, was distant, was cold at times.

Praying...