"Was never in love" part deux

[Mat]

Yeah I'm definitely in a space where I best STFU. I have fantasies of letting her have it. I am doing work on myself to grow, while she's taking the easy option that feels good, "trying something else". How dare she comes tell me that the thing that makes her upset is that she made me sad. The cheek. Let's see who's happier in five years! Not that it's a competition, but it's insulting to me.

She's probably feeling better than I am now; she's getting the analgesic relationship to keep her ticking along, and the illusion that she's a carefree young single girl. But I may be fundamentally happier as I'm facing life with my eyes open and the desire to grow. I don't get the sense it's her case - hopefully it is, or she'll get there.