DBing after WAW then reactive EA by me...NO QUIT!

[25yearsmlc]

Hell Joe, this is easy. Why are you making it so hard?

Your wife is 32 years old with kids. She's a cakewalk when it comes to birthdays.

The 30's are tough on women so you gotta make her feel beautiful...because she is. She is the most beautiful woman in the world. How many times have you said this?

Speaking from the perspective of a woman who was once in her 30s, it's not that decade where our looks are most fragile, or at least wasn't for me. The mis 40s are when I began to really worry about aging and I found that most of my friends were in the same boat.

I think small thoughtful gifts, (not for birthdays but "for no reason" and "just because") are fine. For special occasions, yes, women want to be able to tell their sisters/friends what their 'h's got them b/c women friends and sisters will ask. It needs to be a gift that requires a lot of thoughts AND OR money. Do not scrimp on her gifts and do not choose that time to cut back...

We want to feel loved in other peoples eyes as well as our own, which is another reason gifts matter.

Take her out and show her off. Don't whine about not having money. This is where you spend it. Consider it an investment in your future. Her birthday is a great excuse to romance the dickens out of her.

I think most of this^^ is spot on. But you know her, so use your insights if this^^ is not the right recipe for your w.

So do it.

But do it right. She in her 30's and wondering if this is all her life is going to be. She doesn't want to feel old. Who does?

well, no one "wants" to feel old. But she's only in her 30s...so I'm thinking she wants to feel as if romance has not passed her by. And if she is good looking, or once was, she does not want to think her beauty days are over now and all she'll ever look like is someone who is okay with a man who weighs twice what he should (sorry if that hurts, I don't mean to offend).

Just saying that part of what makes a woman feel beautiful is being with a man who takes care of himself. Going out with a h who does not dress well or is too "scruffy" and or who has let himself go, FEELS unattractive to a lot of women.

Food for thought.



Taking her out isn't about food, dancing, seeing a play or anything else. It's about how you make her feel when she is with you. If you make her feel young, vibrant and exciting then she'll want to be with again.


Not to quibble, but seeing a play or a show or going dancing would for many women, feel like romance...
and those would feel vibrant and exciting. Don't rule those out, please.
I fell in love with my h on the dance floor our first dozen dates.
To this day, when we dance, I KNOW it'll be a great night.

But What does YOUR wife like to do? How about when you were dating?

For crying out loud--spend the money and make her feel like a princess.

A rose is great. Poems are great.

For a 55 year old woman.

Uh, well...

I can actually recall getting a few poems while I was dating my h, (& I was quite young) and I really liked them. I still have each one.

So as much as Bob is giving you well intended advice on what HE thinks HIS wife would like, don't let that be rigidly applied. I loved getting poems years ago. Yes in my 20s and 30's.

I don't know many women MY age who enjoy getting a poem (unless it's really well written or hilarious) or a single flower -- as much as I did decades ago.

That's just MY experience. Like I said, nothing rigidly "written" here. Think about your wife and what you would describe her like, to others.


But women their early 30's wants to go out and be shown off. She wants to dress up and wear makeup. Especially if she has kids. She wants to brag to all her girlfriends what you did for her. Give her something to brag about.


I think this^^ is always true for most women. It's not age dependent.


You want to do a 180? Start now. Quit analyzing her and take action. Do you think the guy who broke up your marriage walked around wringing his hands wondering what he should do?


Whoah....What guy broke up her m? Oh, I think you have confused him with someone else. That is Not Joe's situation. Well not yet anyhow.


NO! He figured out how to steal your wife and he did. That's what creeps like him do.

At least learn from him. And then beat him at his own game. This is your wife. You know the map to her heart. If you don't--learn it.

When a woman says "a trip with them by myself is not the same" she is giving you permission to plan a trip with her.

For the love of God---plan a trip!

I agree with this^^^ about trips, and we have given you ideas about said trip. Take some advice instead of wringing your hands and telling yourself it won't be good enough so don't bother with anything....that's a sure fire fail

** does a part of you want to fail and say "but I tried"???



Vacations are a GREAT place to lay the ground work for makeup sex and makeup sex means MAKING UP!!!

She's your wife. You can either start planning dates that knock her socks off and plan romantic vacations that remind her what a great team you are..

or...

...you can save your money and see your kids on weekends.

Come on man. I'm rooting for you!

Good luck