afraid I have waited too long #3

[nit84]

Starsky,

I think you are correct in some ways about presenting myself as a recent newcomer. I see it myself sometimes and it is frustrating.

When you say pursing, am I doing this without realizing it? I don't follow her around and don't necessarily need to talk to her. I do want to talk to her, not about R, but current events and stuff to build up a little communication which is something we lacked before. I am not trying to force conversation but when we do talk I need show that I am not all whiny and clingy and needy just like to "shoot the poop" on occasion and see where it goes from there.

As far as other people are concerned, I honestly before the S was concerned with what people thought of me. I would even ask for their words of affirmation, just to hear them speak kindly of me(wow how stupid). Since the S I know that I had/have work that I needed to do on myself to love myself.

I put a lot of work into myself and feel so much better now than I did back then. I don't have to ask people anymore for encouragement they are now commenting to me about the changes they see. I'm sure part of it is just being nice but most times I believe to be a sincere compliment.

Even my W has commented, yelled about these changes she sees. She is just not able to trust that they will stick.

I am trying to GAL as best I can, there is always room for more but Dating is not on that list. I have given the impression on a couple of occasions that I might have an evening planned but that is a far as I will take it.

I am not into game playing, I know in some respects every R is a dance that you can either be the leader or the one who follows and sometimes you take turns doing both but there no room for games IMHO.

If I tell my W that she is free to leave and get her own place when she gets upset at me, I go out and do my own thing, I don't mope around when I believe she might being leaving to see OM, I don't initiate R talks. What else can do I short of dating to let her know I will fine if she chooses to go her own way?