Doing all right

[BrightFuture]

Thanks everyone for your support. I fell asleep on the couch last night. Woke up at 5 am, when it was time to get up for work. I almost cried, because I had absolutely no energy to get ready for work. I e-mailed work and told them that I will be working from home today. They are ok with that.

Rick, good to know that this ends at some point. At least gets a lot easier.

Bea, no doubt your H has a strong connection to you. It is just so unfortunate that he keeps doing these hurtful things to you, like pursuing the legal action.

Job, this is the thing, that I only have to take care of myself and my dog. I should be able to do whatever I want, but I just don’t feel like it.

Heather, yes, I’ve been working on my issues too. I think I’ve made a good progress. I just don’t know how long I will be in this grieving process. I don’t see the end of it, and I’m very tired.

I know that I don’t have to deal with the craziness of MLC every day, like other people on this board. But sometimes I wonder if this prolongs my process. H initiates contact once in a while, and he’s been nice and polite lately. I don’t see the anger, I don’t see the weirdness. I wonder if I started to idealize him, like thinking about him as a normal person I used to know. Then I remember the things he did and said and that he left me like I was nothing to him. It makes me angry and sad, and I don’t want that person near me.

I guess I'm on my own rollercoaster right now…