"Speak Softly": The Amoeba Whisperer!

[GoatGal]

Yes, I'm venting today!

I feel like he's actually going to get even worse before he gets better.

He definitely cycles... there is a pattern, but in some ways he seems far, far worse than he was even back in late 2013.

At least then he was apologizing, seemed more vulnerable, more open to talking.

Ever since he filed for D, he's just sort of clammed up and on this path without a turn-off.

I guess for him to admit he'd been wrong in that course of action would be tantamount to admitting he's WEAK.

Instead of seeing that avoiding his problems is actually the weak way to go about it.

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It seems like he's sharing less than ever, gives me no indication of what his plans are... whereas before he talked about moving into the basement, etc...


Now it's just like neither of us brings up ANYTHING about the R.

Which is fine by me, actually.


But he seems to have checked out on me even more...

I almost feel like he thinks the bar is set too high for him to ever reach.
So why even try?

I swear he was more open and supportive (though not exactly compassionate) when I was miserable and bawling my eyes out.
He saw me as vulnerable and maybe under those circumstances it was easier for him to open up more.

Now that I'm GALing, he seems to have resigned himself to the fact that I'm history.

?????????

It's hard to be vulnerable around someone who doesn't appear to have much weakness.
And I think that's how I'm coming across now.


So perhaps I should add a smidge of "vulnerability" to my Agar broth?

Not "helplessness", not "Doormat Clinger", just a bit of "I NEED YOU."
Just--a LITTLE bit.
Sometimes.

I wonder if that would help?

I'm a pretty confident cookie, very capable and independent.
I have the female version of the "Male Brain".
Pretty analytical, more logical than emotional...
But deep down, I'm ALL GIRL.

In contrast, his OW was needy, damaged, clingy.
And he is a self-described "Caretaking Type".

He needs to feel "needed". Hence all the rescue dogs I'm caring for now on my own!

So maybe a 180 for ME would be to ASK for help instead of DIY?
Like the bike thing. That worked out really well.
I think hiring my farm boy might have the opposite effect at this point.
I think it would just make him angry, not the reaction I'm going for.

I think it's been made quite clear that I need not be lonely or would have trouble finding male companionship.
I have not rubbed his nose in it, but he knows that I've had "offers" over the years, long before this happened.

I'm sure he knows that those "offers" have been stepped up now.
This has got to be threatening to him.

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You have to remember folks, I'm a bit of an oddball.

You've got the ADD, the Aspergers... I'm a quirky mix.

I'm a very independent woman. I am happy on my own. I don't need much external validation. I can do pretty much anything I set my mind to.

I'm strong, bendable (Like GUMBY!), and I have an arsenal of coping skills I've had to learn over the years.

Even more now, thanks to this nice little experience!

Maybe that's---TOO MUCH????


Thoughts?

---GGG

Maybe I need to channel a bit more of my inner "Damsel in Distress".
Don't men LIKE that sort of thing?
Maybe they do, if they didn't CAUSE the distress!!!