I was thinking not to be here when he comes to get his stuff, as I wasn't here the last two times he came and he became very curious about why I was so busy and why I didn't make time for him. But yeah maybe I need to show my neighborly side after the big blow up.
I really feel like everything has changed. Maybe it is just because I got all my feelings out in the open but I feel somehow better and worse at the same time. I feel I pushed him away but that I am more detached as well. Like now I realize if he doesn't want to be with me he doesn't and there really isn't much I can do about it.
That's crappy but at least I am starting to accept that things might not go my way. My friends and family have been waiting for this day for a while. As you'd expect, they all think he is a jerk and that I should move on. I was holding on to the old H, but the one who is here now is definitely not the same guy. He's going through an identity crisis and making a lot of strange decisions and changes. Some of them are unfortunately for the better (I wish he had made them before), but many are crazy and unreasonable.
Oh well. Thanks for reading and giving me advice. Hugs, LisaB
Me: 34 H: 30 M: 4 years BD: 6/15/14 He moved out 6/30/14 OW1: EA then PA after BD Now he's dating multiple OWs I'm over it and moving on.
