Stopped by your thread at your request, but I'll be honest I've only had a chance to peruse it so far -- lots and lots of long posts in there. I'll try to catch up as I can.
My initial impression is yeah, you've been a bit of a doormat, but after everything she's been allowed to get away with so far -- and considering now how far things have progressed -- I'm not sure there's much you can do in the way of enforcing boundaries at this late date. It would really be a legal opinion now at this point anyway.
Hindsight's always 20/20, but it's looking to me like you would have been wise to heed MrBond's advice months ago, and try to kick her out.
