Thanks Thorn however I hope you are sitting down for this update!
WAW came over last night and spilled the beans. She is seriously thinking of coming back! She slept here last night! I can't believe this is happening actually...I NEVER thought this day would come! We talked about her "fog" and she described how confused she was. Her description matched what all of us have been discussing here about our sitches. She agreed that we probably shouldn't have divorced so quickly. She admitted she never expected the court date to come so quickly. She said she wasn't sure what was going to come of the OM fantasy and she didn't want to humiliate me so that's why she left before she explored the OM avenue. However things did not go well with them as I told you. She is still moving to Florida but it seems she is doing it more out of oblgation now because she's already made arrangements to do so. I told her it's probably not a bad idea to be apart for a couple months or so just to make sure we are both ready for a full reconciliation before we get back together too quickly. Telling her about DB'ing indirectly as I have really made a difference. She says she's so happy she understands why I "got over" her so quickly...the real reason. She said she is so proud of me and she thanked me for being even better and stronger than the man she fell in love with 18 years ago.
This is all surreal to me this morning and I can't believe this happened! What a difference one day can make! I never thought she'd come back. It just goes to show you that no matter how cold and heartless a WAW can be, it is the result of their confusing fog they are in. She really seems to have done some research on WAW Syndrome as she understands what she was now...what was going on with her. She admitted that the "grass is always greener" is so true. She said she is so, so sorry for all that's happened but that she was so confused and "lost."
She sent an e-mail this morning thanking me as well for last night. So we'll see how things go for now but I just had to come tell you all about this absolutely SHOCKING news! I am still being careful because I do feel a bit like "Plan B" since things didn't work out for her with OM...but since she initiated all of this I am just taking it all slow...one day at a time. We even talked about stopping the divorce and seeing if we can cancel it but since she's moving away for awhile we may just let it go through. We both agreed it's just a piece of paper and doesn't really matter. So I will keep you posted but WAW is clearly on a high after last night and she keeps referring to me as being even better than the man she fell for 18 years ago. This is just unbelievable and even as I write this I can't believe what went down yesterday and last night. I will keep you guys posted! For now I need to digest all of this!
Last edited by ItHurts; 08/04/1404:12 PM.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Thanks Tar! Yeah this is just unbelievable really. So many nights I wished for this to happen and now that it has I am in a bit of shock. It was so sudden...just as I thought I said good-bye to her for the last time. She is "herself" again, she is not that body possessed by some alien anymore. She is the woman I married again and it was so nice to see her back in her body per se. I need to digest all of this and yes, you can bet I am taking it very slowly. Time is our friend again it seems. Thanks Tar!
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
I had a feeling she wasn't done! Congrats man! Go super slow right now! Stay cool and don't smother her!
Wow, I remember when we (you, me, and Ben) all started this journey. While I don't want to count our chickens before they hatch, we are 3 for 3!
Super excited for you IH!
HAHA! Thanks Thorn! I had a feeling this news would throw you for a loop! It sure did me! She said she missed me so much and hugged and kissed me and things...just like it used to be before all of this happened. I agree to take it nice and slow. There's no rush at this point at all. She is already saying she wants to get together again and that she can even be available tonight LOL! Just shocking and unbelievable to me only a couple days after I was certain I said good-bye to her for the last time. When she called her parents to tell them why she didn't come home last night...well I can only imaging their reaction to that. The WAW said here's yet another thing we've gone through together. I told her she was like the Tasmanian Devil and that she left a path of sheer destruction in her wake. She is filled with so much regret but she obviously feels so much better now after last night. I am just amazed really, shell-shocked like I was the day she dropped the bomb except for the opposite reason this time. So great that your sitch has improved too Thorn, I really need to catch up on your sitch and all that's gone on.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
Me: 35 Her: 33 D : 16 S : 9 Together: 14 years Married: 12 She left 4/14/2014 Separated: 5/25/2014 OM Confirmed 7/2014 She filed 8/7/2014 I Filed 10/21/2014 Divorce final 2/12/2015
Seriously guys...no one was surer than me that I reached the end of the road with WAW. This goes to show you that ANYTHING can happen. I am just stunned today! Please keep the faith, if my story doesn't give you all hope, nothing will. It's never over until it's over I guess and Thorn was right all along.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
hate to be the wet blanket, but I wouldn't be celebrating yet. Your W isn't coming back right now. It's customary for the WAS to have what they call "false starts". You are right that she probably is just feeling low because of the OM, however, because she hasn't done any work on herself, she will leave you again the next time another guy comes along.
The only way that you can tell when a WAS is slowly coming back is when 1) they apologize and UNDERSTAND what they did, 2) they tell LBS that they want to do the work and PROACTIVELY go to MC and IC, 3) are completely transparent to the LBS.
Too many times I've seen posters who have been in your shoes who have been just so happy to have their spouse back, that they ignore everything else. As a matter of fact, there is a poster just last week who came back to say that their W just left again because of this.
Don't sweep things under the rug. Tell her what needs to happen in order to reconcile.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
