I keep thinking he won't meet anybody decent with whom he's compatible. Then I realize, that's NOT what he's looking for.
He thinks he is, but he's really just looking for ANYONE who will make him feel better.
And that person can be anyone/anything...as long as they're available and WILLING.
That's pretty much all he's after at the moment.
If he wanted a good person, a good match, someone honest, loving, fun, smart...all the rest, the whole package--well, here I am!
Nope. That's "not attractive".
So yes, I think there ARE a lot of people out there who are so lonely and needy that they'll settle for whatever crumbs these people hand out.
And let's not forget, our MLCers are playing a role in these OP relationships. They are painting a picture of themselves---and us---that is far from reality.
They're actors, acting out the MLC script we all know so well.
They just believe it's REAL.
And unfortunately, so do the OPs. They don't know that our S's are crazy and treating us like dirt.
They believe the stories about how awful we are, how they're trapped in a loveless marriage... the whole thing.
I have a casual friend who has been the OW several times. (I THINK I may have reformed her, but perhaps not.)
She gave me the whole line on this man and that: "Oh--this guy's wife was horrible, denied him sex, blah blah..." "This one's wife is mentally ill and he just couldn't take it anymore..." "This guy was just so unhappy, he married the wrong person, he just didn't know it until he met me..."
I told her: THEY LIE!
It was like a shock to her system. No, they only lie to their wives, not to MOI!!!!
I said, "My husband told his OW basically all the things you just said. Now, you know me. Do you REALLY think I would have stayed with a man almost 30 years if we had a loveless, horrible marriage? And am I really so old and ugly and (take my word for it) frigid and sexless that he'd have to look elsewhere?"
She looked as though she'd taken a mistaken hit from her STFU bottle.
In a word, the lighbulb came on and she was speechless.
Oh, and yes. She is also lonely, needy, a little "odd", overweight, with some serious baggage, not much of a judge of character and willing to take what she can get, and sleep with guys she hardly knows on the first date, thinking that's the way to their hearts.
So there you go. Classic OW material.
---GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
