WAW not admitting to affair #3

[shodan]

Update on my past week...my W and I spoke on Sunday morning about the A and her lying (see past posts). I went out that night and saw some friends. The next night I went out again, but she called me to ask where I was. I told her I was running errands (I actually was) and seeing some friends. She asked if we could talk. So I went home. She got mad at me for linking in with some of her work friends (I had done this recently in case I needed to contact them to verify things my wife had said). She was very upset by this and asked if I was trying to get her fired.

She calmed down and she went off about the changes that I had made and how she was upset that it took her saying that she wanted a divorce for me to change. She continued to say that she doubts my changes will stick and that breaking into her phone demonstrated the life that lies ahead for her: a man who controls her. I reiterated that I am committed to this M, to our family and to our kids. But we need to have an honest and open marriage with no secrets in order to move forward. I did not “accuse” of the affair. I wanted to stay away from anything getting emotional.

Wednesday she called me as she was on her way to the airport. She had been planning to fly out Thursday and do a day trip, but her meetings were moved up to 8am, so she needed to leave early. She said work was stressing her out and that she needed a vacation. She texted me when she landed and even facetimed with the kids and me. She caught an early flight back Thursday and asked if I wanted to go to yoga with her. I should have GAL’ed but I said yes. After yoga, we sat and talked on the porch about life in general, nothing about our R. She talked more about NYC and why she likes it there but also said that NYC without kids is not reality. She knows where we live now is the best place for the kids. She said maybe she would do this job until the end of the year and then try to be more Boston based after that.

Saturday she was out with my D all day, and I was out with my S. I took him to the Red Sox game but then met my W for a concert with my D (my D wanted me to go). I did not want to disappoint her. My W and I did not sit/stand near each other. Sunday she went out early with the dog. I did not ask where she was. When she got back, she asked if I wanted to go to Yoga with her later in the day. Again, I decided to say yes. Maybe I should not have but it did allow us to just somewhat connect. We talked about the stress triggers in our life: kids, work, schedules, dog, a fairly incompetent nanny, etc..

So did I fully detach? Nope. But I did a little bit. Frankly, it is so hard to detach from someone whom I love so much. Did I GAL a bit? Yes. I went out a couple of nights. Did I buy some new cologne and some new clothes? Yes.

What lies ahead this week...I am taking my dad to dinner tonight so will be late. Tomorrow I may go out but need to connect with a friend about it. Wednesday I believe that she is traveling to NYC and Thursday I have a work party. Friday my W leaves for Colorado on a trip for a surprise 40th for a friend (I know this is not a lie). So we won't see each other this much this week anyway, which will give her the space that she needs.