Bright, Bea is right. You are very hard on yourself. You are under a lot of stress, i.e., new job and your marriage is in limbo. Those two things will take the air out of your balloon very quickly, especially if you are trying to put on a happy face each and every day you are at work.
Give yourself permission to take a break when you are home. There's nothing that says you have to do things each and every free moment you are home. Don't sweat the small stuff and learn to take some time out just for you and you alone.
I'm glad your condo was okay and nothing was damaged. One less concern for you.
Take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
