"It's really hard for me to stay away and stop trying to influence everything. Thus far, nearly everything I've tried to influence has backfired on me."
Change "influence" to CONTROL. That's what you are doing.
"How do I make it known that I want to give her space,"
By giving her space.
"but at the same time, be clear that this is a choice that I'm not ultimately happy with?"
She already knows that you're unhappy. In fact, she knows that you are going to be unhappy at anything that you can't control or is in your best interests, like the A's.
"I also want to make it clear to her that I have no intention of dating anyone."
I doubt if she'd believe you based on your track record.
"I'm really uncomfortable with how our evening will look and I'm afraid I may do or say something to derail myself."
Validate and listen.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
