Does fear drive the crazy train?

[juliegayle]

Great thread. There is so much to think about here. H always turned to alcohol to escape bit I hadn't thought about fear driving the need to escape.

When s was born he was very ill and things were touch and go for a while. One day while in the nicu I got a call to come to ER. H had gone to a psychiatrist in an attempt to get some anxiety meds. He told the dr. He had wanted to kill himself by cutting off his a5m. 0 coping skills. I missed an opportunity to get him help there.

I missed many other opportunities and signs. I definitely started out building his self esteem regularly but stopped after years of list jobs and money problems and drinking problem which I ignored except to get on his back and blame him for it.

Spring before bomb drop I had a cancer scare which turned out to be ok. In the hospital after a surgery h admitted how scared he had been of losing me. He had been a rock for me through the entire process The few months after our marriage felt like it had in the beginning and them suddenly he was gone and with ow and hating me.

I have suspected that it was that stress and fear that was the final push over the edge.