You are right again in so many ways. I didn't try to tell her my plan, but I wanted to shift the conversation away from looking back and all of the I'm sorry, I screwed up, I have so much to learn, blah, blah, blah that just sounds weak. I decided to shift onto my front foot and make it clear I wasn't going to just fade away.

Now, I have to make that happen. With quiet strength. I have to stay the course through the worst of what is to come and continue to live the changes I need to make.

For now, my pursuit will consist of gifts to show the understanding of that love language and continuing to do as much as possible around the house (both small and large) to provide love in the form of acts of service.

When I see some positive progress and a warming to the gifts, I will continue some further action, but I have no idea how long that'll be so I just have to stay in for the long haul.

I'm going to call the counselor's office tomorrow to set up an appt. for this week and look into how my insurance can cover it.

Books, I've read 5LL, read DR and will reread it this week, especially the 180s.

Tonight, at home without my family, has been a bad night. I've got all the motivation I could need now.

Thank you for the support and guidance.

Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.