I get that the letter is a little too much and I debated sending it, but after my clingy and dramatic behavior I felt I needed to not only let go within myself, but tell him that I accept the situation as is.
I was really obsessed with why and how everything happened and that was what I got super emotional about. I don't agree with the way he left (being vague, OW) and the reasons he gave for leaving are ridiculous and trivial for the most part. Our conversation the other night was about this, going over and over the things he did and why he did them. Although it is my nature to try to understand why, I realize he doesn't even truly know why and I will probably never really understand. So I have to stop trying and stop analyzing everything to death.
Maybe this is truly the end. I don't know. I feel quite hopeless now. But maybe I needed that so I can detach and move on. If it is indeed hopeless there is no reason for me to keep on banging my head against the wall wondering what happened and how I can change things now. I realize I made many mistakes but I was also a wonderful wife and we were very very happy together. And indeed I am not perfect but I am pretty fantastic for the most part. Anyone would be lucky to be with me. He didn't feel lucky so I guess he left.
Maybe in the future we can be friends, maybe in the future we can try again. I don't know. For now I think I need to give up that hope.
Thanks again for your support, I am sure I will be back soon with more drama...
Hugs, LisaB
Me: 34 H: 30 M: 4 years BD: 6/15/14 He moved out 6/30/14 OW1: EA then PA after BD Now he's dating multiple OWs I'm over it and moving on.
