Shush! Leave it alone. Let me share my experience with Ms. Wonka to give you some insights on how to DB properly with duct tape and the Wonka Bobcat special for patience.
We split up back in 2004 due to a crazy mixture of my MLC and Ms. Wonka seeking out OW in response to her own pain from my BD & all that crazy MLC jazz. When she first moved out, I did all the wrong things, which were all pre-DBing, by writing her a long letter...blah blah. Then it took about 4 months of chipping away at her glacier before I got a response from Ms. Wonka (that was after finding DR book and this site).
During the intervening years since then, we've texted wishing each other HBD which was pretty much the extent of our communications. Mind you, we both have slammed the door on each other at various times too with years worth of silence. Things changed when my beloved father died in the Fall of 2012 and we had our FIRST phone call in 8 years two months after he passed away.
Then we texted each other Merry Christmas and HBD exchanges. After getting some excellent feedback from some really, really wonderful people over in MLC on how to make sincere amends, I sent an apology letter to Ms. Wonka just this past March 2014. We had our first semi-deep conversation through texting that lasted about 1 to 2 weeks. Then that was the last of our convo.
The main point I am trying to drive here is that you MUST cultivate patience on your part out of respect for W and her deep wounds inflicted by your very selfish actions. For you, this will be months, months long process between you and W.
You are now being antsy pantsy after getting the email from your W and you want to grab a MILE out of it. Not good. Turn the focus BACK TO YOU and continue working on being a better man that is reliable, dependable, healthy and monogamous.
