Well not sure how to react to this situation within the context of DBing and the 37 rules. My WAW has a male friend that has been around her house when the kids are with her and last weekend they went to the beach with my kids. I have been assured that they are only friends and that it is no different than if it was a girl friend that she was with. She has been honest with me up to this point, so I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt. However, at the same time, I am VERY uncomfortable that another man is spending time around my kids while our situation is so volatile.
I mentioned how I felt the first time I knew that they spent time together to her. She asked first because he was over there when my D called to tell me good night. Her exact comment was "is it ok if I have guy friends?" My response was, you can be friends with whoever you want, I can't control that, but I can tell you my feelings if you allow me. She then asked how I felt, and I told her I didn't feel it was good for the kids and it could confuse them. I told her my thoughts, and she continued to justify saying it was no different than if she was hanging out with one of the guys that we are all friends with as a family.
The next day after processing, we had a very tense conversation, I started DBing a few days later. I felt disrespected, and felt that it was a lack of respect for me and my kids. I think that she takes it as control because she often times threw the boundaries I would set in the home as being controlling. So when she takes him with her to the beach the following weekend, part of me thinks she is trying to show me that she will do whatever the heck she wants and she feels justified. I however, think it is a horrible choice of judgement, but since I've spoken my peace, I don't have much more that I can say that is different.
