I had hoped to speak with the WAH today as he was coming to get his last things from the house. He is moving to a new apartment. However, he was not able to come by.
Originally I had planned to be out when he got his stuff, I even had a date! But after our disastrous conversation and his subsequent ignoring me, I thought I needed to see him to show him that I have returned to the calm person he prefers. Like I said above, ignoring someone who is ignoring you is pretty pointless.
I had been planning help load his boxes into the car while calmly apologizing for my emotional rant and telling him that I had accepted the situation and was letting go and moving on. Since I couldn't tell him in person I thought about it and decided to send a short Dobson letter.
So I did, over email. We shall see what effect it has, if any. The letter basically explained that I needed to get some anger and confusion off my chest and now I can let it go. And that I understand that he was dissatisfied with the relationship and needs to find his happiness. It was rather short.
I think I needed an intermediate step to backtrack on the drama of the other day and return to NC, 180, GAL etc which I will now do like mad.
I don't expect to hear a reply from him and I guess I don't really care. Possibly I will get a cold and distant one. But a reply is not at all my goal. It is more about re-establishing my own independence, confidence and calmness. The letter stated that I am doing that, and my next step is to actually DO IT.
Most likely the letter will be seen as just another annoying pursuit by me, but once I follow it with NC it will have more significance.
I feel good about this letter, it is actually giving me a small feeling of control of myself and the situation. I do need to detach. Wish me luck with the NC!
Hugs to all, LisaB
Me: 34 H: 30 M: 4 years BD: 6/15/14 He moved out 6/30/14 OW1: EA then PA after BD Now he's dating multiple OWs I'm over it and moving on.
