I guess I should explain my change in mood from my "I hate H!" post to today I drove for 3 hours yesterday so had a lot of time to think. The car thing is really not as big of a deal as I initially felt. I can use this car I'm borrowing from my parents indefinitely, they understand. It's not what I would want for a car but I'll be able to get around. Really my anger comes from these arbitrary goals I set for myself that have come "undone." I finally felt like an adult not too long ago because I had checked all the boxes - had a graduate degree, a full-time job, a husband, a pet, and a house (and in the "right order" according to me) and now three of those things (husband, pet, house) had come undone. I often feel like I'm a student again - living in an apartment, feeling unsettled as to what will happen next, no pet, depending on my parents for a car. I just wanted to feel "adult" again. But as I said, these are arbitrary goals that I don't really need to be happy. If I had to choose between waiting for the right car AND waiting on a cat until after I find a car, or getting a cat now, knowing I may not be able to get a car for awhile because of my financial obligations, I'd rather have a cat first because I do still have a car that works. Therefore, I'm going to go visit little Jasper again today and see if he's come out of his shell at all
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
I drove for 3 hours yesterday so had a lot of time to think. The car thing is really not as big of a deal as I initially felt. I can use this car I'm borrowing from my parents indefinitely, they understand. It's not what I would want for a car but I'll be able to get around. Really my anger comes from these arbitrary goals I set for myself that have come "undone." I finally felt like an adult not too long ago because I had checked all the boxes - had a graduate degree, a full-time job, a husband, a pet, and a house (and in the "right order" according to me) and now three of those things (husband, pet, house) had come undone. I often feel like I'm a student again - living in an apartment, feeling unsettled as to what will happen next, no pet, depending on my parents for a car. I just wanted to feel "adult" again. But as I said, these are arbitrary goals that I don't really need to be happy. If I had to choose between waiting for the right car AND waiting on a cat until after I find a car, or getting a cat now, knowing I may not be able to get a car for awhile because of my financial obligations, I'd rather have a cat first because I do still have a car that works. Therefore, I'm going to go visit little Jasper again today and see if he's come out of his shell at all 