"Man The F*** Up" The Ultimate 180

[RedHawk98]

Been just over a month since I looked at this board. Just stopping by to say thank you to you all and share some good news after such a horrific time.

Detatching for me was impossible for the first 15 months of being separated. Fighting tooth and nail to save my marriage.

I wish I could tell those that are struggling how I managed to do it in the end.
It just happened, that's all I can say.

Once you do detatch, you start to see everything a lot clearer.
As 25yearsmlc said "You can be right, or you can be happy".
I admit to any mistakes I made. I don't believe I deserved how my wife has treated myself and our marriage. Nor do I think she was entitled to behave as she has.
But it doesn't keep me awake at night like it used to.
I know I'll never make the same mistakes in the future.

While I can forgive her for everything, I just feel no desire to talk to her at the moment. I just don't trust a word she says anymore. As much as I would like to.

The good news!
Once I detatched I started to notice a few more things happening around me.
A friend of mine I have known for a few years had been getting in touch with me a lot more often since June of last year. Any excuse to spend time with me, and get to know me better.

After a year she tells me "You're not very good at taking a hint are you?"

She is a wonderful lady. Absolutely beautiful, smart and with a big heart. I probably have even more in common with her interests and values wise than I did with my STBXW. It's actually ridiculous how much we have in common.

Her former husband ran off wih someone else too a couple of years ago, so we understand each other's healed scars too. But feel no need to talk about it.

Early days yet, we're just a pretty much perfectly suited pair. Taking things very slowly and laughing and smiling a lot.
No expectations here, but it's just nice to be reminded how fast life can turn around if you let it be.

I wanted to say thanks to you all for giving me a place to vent off. For your advice too.
That whole period of time was horrific and a little embarrassing when I look at how it tore me up.

I hope everyone here is able to save their marriages and be happy again. May they be happier than before!
Keep up the good advice too! I think a soaking up some of that helped me to detatch an see everything a lot clearer.

Cheers everybody!