KGirl - post-move

[KGirl]

Today I'm visiting my MIL, FIL, SIL, and neices/nephew for the first time since BD. SIL had a pampered chef party awhile ago and I ordered some stuff online that I need to pick up, and the kids have been asking about me, so I figured it was time. I know I have to tread carefully - on the one hand, it's an opportunity for positive things to get back to H. On the other hand, it's also an opportunity for negative things to get back to H...so I need to be careful about complaining, spilling too much, etc. I know his MIL knows about his work "crush" because she told me H had told her about this girl he had been sharing things with, became close to, etc., but I don't know that his sister knows anything about that. I'm also not 100% sure if they support us getting back together or not. Sis periodically talks about how she hopes things turn out... but early in our R I don't know that his family really liked me and had made some negative comments about me (they thought I was "stuck up" because I wouldn't gossip about the other family members after holiday outings, things like that. They can be pretty judgy and I try not to get into that if possible). So, wish me luck!

I'm also wondering if people have thoughts about staying completely dark vs. experimenting with light comments/thoughts and when it's time to switch tactics. I'd been as dark as possible for awhile now, only sending messages about bills/money/logistics. Yesterday though I thought of H when I learned about a flower that's in our yard and how it's a big bee attractant... we had this running joke about bees from when he killed one early on and I sent him a brief text about the flower and how he should watch out for bees. He then sent me a three message long text about how does see lots of bees, and hummingbirds, and how this woodpecker is interested in one of the trees but he hopes it goes away. So it seems like he wants to talk. And you don't get anywhere unless you start somewhere. It'd be nice to show him how things COULD be. But on the other hand, maybe he's just being "friends" and I'm concerned I'll start getting expectations if we talk more, and that maybe I need to put my foot down and have NO friendly contact until something has actually changed. Thoughts?? Maybe the compromise is don't initiate, but talk a little if he intiaties (and end first, of course)?